Dont allow the negative thoughts to hinder your relationship or your overall quality of life. And, remember, Neighbor, even one sex act outside of or before marriage is considered promiscuous and, definitely sinful for males or females in His eyes. But until men realize that the more you all make advances towards us irregardless of what we declare we want, the more you promote promiscuity among your male circles, the more you all support the media that supports the sexual exploitation and objectification of women, then the more youll see women sleeping with a bunch of different men. With that said, dont expect all these women to reveal this information. And know that there will be days your not overwhelmed in thought. I thought that sex was the only thing guys wanted from me and without that they would just leave or get it somewhere else. If your 30 and you had sex with 45 people, Not saying its right for a man to walk away, but there are women who dont even tell the presumptive father of their pregnancy status. It does not matter if a women thinks average is great, or claims that, it only matters that in our male mind we dont like feeling insecure with the women that should make us feel secure every time we engage in the most intimate of acts with her for the rest of our life. Im just curiouswhat is your take on any of your male gender having premarital sex? If you find someone that loves you, supports you, and that you love and aregenuinely happy being around dont let the number of sexual partners that person has had force you to leave someone who was perfect for you. This month marks the 20th anniversary of Elizabeth's return home and on this week's episode of All In, we speak with Chris Thomas who acted as spokesperson for the Smart Family throughout their entire experience in searching for Elizabeth. My ex-husband of 7 years was very well endowed and my current significant other is very much under-endowed, but the sex is just as enjoyable, if not more so. More and more women than ever before are Sleeping around. Its not good north bad. I feel this is an unfair double standard and I refuse to judge them or cast a negative light upon them for their choice. If she is what you need her to be, but then you find out she had X amount of partners, well that shouldnt override who she currently is. Life. Idc what you say. Theres no extra rewards to it. Nothing sums it up better, I wish I could sit down and heave beer with you. Men lie, because it increases theirs. You never know what a persons background isunless they tell you. Consider your 20s your best years is VERY subjective. What do women do in the meantime? To judge them is just wrong and unfair. nasty divorce, drug use stemming from the perils of a upper middle class It is the exact reason why there are tv shows depicting men on how to pick up women, but there is no show where women can pick men, because there is no science to it, women only have to spread their legs to get it. Altamera74, from a chicks point of view, you are going to end up a very sad and lonely man if you take that sort of attitude into your life when it comes to choosing a partner.. Do you know women feel the same about men sometimes. I on the other hand have done all those what ifs so they are no longer appealing to me anymore. To you over 30 might be danger, to the next more than 7 might be too much. Are you telling me that the number of sex partners she then tells you is worth walking away from this woman. All of the feminists and white knight's pretending that men are applauded for sleeping around do not live in the real world. Probably not while having sex with her either. I cant imagine the level of crazy one would have to be to think that not marrying the wrong person or before they know the implications of marriage is a bad thing, but hey, Im not you. Only to then change the number 2 more times from 13 to the final number now which is 15 and me being the 16th. You hold your partners to standards that you hold yourself. Obviously the more people you sleep with the higher your possibility of having an std are. A woman did not write this, this was written by a man. I get what you're saying that's why I'm trying to avoid that. Only a smail percentage of high school sweethearts get married and stay married. There are a lot more incidents which i wont get into for the sake of keeping this short. WHO WANTS A WOMAN or a MAN you can not trust. Do not lie, but do not get detailed. Be open, talk about your wants, your needs, your boundaries. Thank you, Lord, for resurrecting from the dead. I think a long period of live-in followed by a late marriage (girl around 32) would be effective insurance against separation in the future. So having lots of casual sex it a good indicator that a woman has emotional problems. sleep with more people towards the beginning of their dating/sexploration stage The double standard thing is something that a lot of people ignore because I guess they feel as if, women should behave in such manner that is acceptable to society! To me in some case it shouldnt matter because everyone has had their wild period, but at the same time you dont want a person where everywhere you go folks are like, YoI hit that I dont care who you are, that hits home and you start to question your choice in boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife. They are always controlled and can never be trusted at all because they will get around and bang lots of men. So to simply go off of the number is in my opinion a misguided approach to understanding the person you are dealing with. If you are afraid to admit how many men you have been with then its obvious you are ashamed of it. hide ourselves in does not preclude that: it is a make or break answer. Theres a dirty shaming name for women whove had volumes of sex but only recently has there been a label for men that also have many sexual experiences with many partners. It is as simple as that. Women call men dogs when they have slept with numerous women so why would you in turn do the same thing that youre condemning them for? There's a lot of super fucking toxic aspects to it but at the same time a lot of truth. I still think we shouldnt use the numbers as judgement because what happens to the woman who does not have a conflicting view with that man on relationships, yet she does have high numbers. It carries some truth to it undoubtedly. I just still think we have to evaluate that person for who they are now, or in many cases just trust GOD if you feel he has told you this is the woman for you. All of these judgmental gender-based views and name-calling is the height of examples of sexism. Lmao @ Whale Poop. Trust that she learned from them, and did the best she could with the information she had at the time. And I find monogamy more fulfilling than anything else. I appear to have acquired a stalker. I understand where you are coming from but we do not agree on this topic. She came with a lot of baggage, extremely insecure and pushed a double standard into our relationship. We all have issues, so we have no right to be so quick to judge, and look down on others for their perceived issue. Those who feel the need to take this approach typically have some deeper issues they are not properly addressing. So a young fertile woman was his best bet. I, of course, agree that other factors contribute to failed marriage. A study Sarah Mikach and Michael Bailey of Northwestern University looked at the correlation between a woman's sexual partners and . Who cares? Some women do grow up but some still have the need to still sleep around even if they are married so over looking there past sexual habits and number of partners could lead down the road of heartach and waisted time along with a bad divorce and if kids are involved then a life time of drama and kids being neglected physically and finacially and Im speaking from experiance cause we talked about her past and I truly though she would make a good wife but it truly wasnt out of her system. So even if a man views you as equal, his desire to not want to see the women he wants go outside his desired perception of her is to make her feel like she is nothing but a whore if she dares cross that line. A pregnant woman or a women with an infant child on the African savannah had a far lower chance of survival if they didnt have a man to provide for her and her child and protect them from harm. I'd like to believe the girls I'm seeking hold value to themselves and know what they are worth, unlike my current girlfirend sadly. Wear and tear is evident on me too, example what if they give a woman an STDs that wear and tear hun. The number is certainly not all that matters. Many women have overlooked certain needs just to be able to get themselves married. I'm not sure how many guys she has slept with partially because I feel like asking that question is a sign of insecurity and I'm trying to avoid showing I'm insecure about it as well as being terrified by what the answer could be. I AM SORRY, AS WOMENWE MUST HOLD OURSELVES TO HIGHER STANDARDSWHEN WE BEGAN TO LOSE OUR MORALS AND ACT LIKE MEN IS WHEN WE STARTED TO BE MORE LIKELY TO GET SHOT THAN MARRIED. Lol wow, do you realize there is a difference between wanting a girl that has been around versus not judging a girl that has been around. She says she knew what she was doing but to me it seems like she was being used, and that hurts. Would you still judge her as nothing more than a whore or was she simply a victim of a horrible act and didnt know or wasnt able to get the help to properly handle it. Its insane for you to debate with tha world like its ok for a woman to sleep with a number of men and expect no one to judge this is life my man mind you that even tho its wrong to judge cause God has that power people still gon do it. All in all I just dont feel we should be looking at the amount of men she has slept with in the past as evidence for if she is someone to be with. Im not the same person now, and I know what I did is wrong, so obviously, there should be no consequences for my past behavior. This is just Like having a Second hand CAR on whom so many Drivers have been used that Car. So I must be doing something right for her to love me. Especially when you are getting up into the mid Twenties to Hundreds. Who you allow inside yourself matters. Master Age: 48 , mho 32%. I would rather be morally responsible than put another person through the consequences of my decisions. Evaluate that person for who they show you they are today, and the days ahead. They usually have lower self-esteem, dont believe they can get better, and FEAR they wont be able to connect with another woman they like in the future, so they settle for something sub-standard. First, ever since our common ancestors walked out of West As you have experienced it is the baggage, the fact that many people have not healed from their past before entering a new relationship. I am giving my perspective on why they should not judge the woman solely on her past. But thats not reality. I completely agree with you that a womans sexual health (i.e. made and consequences stem from them. A slut is a slut. It does matter how many men, a woman Theres nothing wrong with that. I have a past love interest who you can say is the one I regret letting go in my life the most. This is only my input on the subject as I have been tackling this topic for weeks now and I am open to everybody's opinion. Shame on you all. Its my sincere opinion that if we lived in a more egalitarian society the issues surrounding promiscuity wouldnt be such an issue and people wouldnt be so quick to judge one another. I dont have too much to say about this, because I pretty much agree with most of it. Of course you agree. Ive already had my experiences with other lovers and hes better than all of those other men put together!! Well written article. Sex isnt an act that comes with an inherent morality- the ethical implications of sex all depend on the context. As far as wrong or right, I will save that for another post. Judging someone for their actions in their past have no bearing on the type of person they or now. The man is going to think that the woman might not I dont thing something is wrong with a man who does not like the idea of competing with a womans past. And some dudes value the experience of a woman who has been around. Also as I stated, women know that regardless of this article most men will judge them. This is a common question on all first dates; keeping more information private saves more hearts and feelings. You can question the theory of evolution, or gravity, or anything else, but your questioning doesnt impugn their validity. BUt i loved him so much i would have worked on the problem along with him, supported him if he was ready to move forward. with his friend who was also married and he wanted to be with her. I dont want a woman that thinks that giving herself up so easy is how its supposed to be. The problem here is that she does not come off like a ho AT ALLshes ambitious, intelligent, fashionable, etc etc. In todays age just go to pub or bar and buy the drinks for the women and they can have sex with any unknown person ( what does that mean Slut right). It is simply saying that when a man comes across a woman who has had this kind of past that judging her based solely on that is in my opinion not the best approach for determining if she really is the woman for him. Granted, I agree it may all come from some traumatic event or maybe an ongoing psychological/sociological issue (ie lack of a father or mother etc) andIn fact, the promiscuous women did suffer from some deepissues. Also, To say she is damaged goods is a misnomer because you assume that her worth is completely controlled by her sexuality and how she uses it. Encourage people to better themselves? thats okay. Its become a trend now for premarital sex to happen but some girls don't approve it. You make a very good arguement and I like how you articulated it. Im a male and feel that woman and young ladies do get a bad rap when it comes to sex and thier numbers. Sheila Saeung Jesus was a trouble maker, who got what he deserved. Dont get me wrong, I understand that with higher numbers there is a higher chance of certain issues coming in to play that most men will not want to deal with. If you cant get in or she cant handle it can mess up the whole experience. so we moved on.. after 2 yrs, i am look for an arranged marriage (pretty normal in India). I understand a lot of what you are saying, but the main thing to remember is not to judge someone on their past. The fact remains that the women with the lowest divorce rate in our liberal Western culture (not an alien culture or religion) are those who are more educated, higher income earners and marry later. Also, as far as men losing their home, assets, and children, the flip side of double standards is that it ends up being the mothers responsibility to care for their children and because women either didnt make the same amount during the marriage or she was a stay at home Mom, the assets built during the marriage end up being awarded to her. So clearly Im not assuming old-fashioned = not a slut. Most women nowadays like sleeping around with all different kinds of men, and just cant settle for one. If he never asks or she never gives him a specific number then I do not think we should put that in the same category as a cheating wife. and it goes on. If people would stop having children out of wed-lock this would alleviate some of these incidents. But here is what i do care about, how I get treated based on what she has gone through her past. I would feel disgusted if I would know my wife had slept with so many men, For those who think they are not even obliged to say how many people they have slept with is like the ones who think that they can cheat as long as their husband does not find out it is living a lie and if your husband would ever find out you could have a bad surprise because he is not aware on who he is living with and he can get as disgusted as I do , You had the fun? It shapes us. Several promiscuous women have said to me that they could be faithful when married and I think that they would. And, after that, he paid the most endearing miraculous amazing act on our behalf. This is a touchy subject.. Everyone is different. Your comment finally got past moderation and was improved. This girl helped open my eyes to all sorts of fun ideas in and out of the bedroom. Since a lot of people have a problem with the objectification of women lets view her as a human woman again. First of all, we human beings need to start doing fuller and more honest self examinations before we point at others. Hallelujah! Get urself checked and keep ur pants on before u question her!!! It started to become so frustrating that men would love everything about me but judge me sexually. Its all psychology. Indeed, while the data presented in The Marriage Project's 418-person study is legitimate, experts say that the conclusions drawn from it -- especially those which cast judgement on one's sexual history and incite sentiments of slut-shaming -- may not be entirely accurate. No, I dont. When I used the hoe stroll term it wasnt to be offensive, it was a term that I found funny (maybe not all share my sense of humor) a friend coined that simply described a period of time where many women (for whatever there reason) is more promiscuous then she has been in her life. For me it was a shock should I care? As sad and hard as it seems its true Well that is the same than saying that a woman who cheat should not confess of course if the husband does not find out they could live happy for ever but the problem come that it is living a lie in both cases if the husband would have know the truth about the person they are living with probably would have not chosen to live with this person and that is the weight that the cheating/laying woman have to take with her for her whole life nor to say the fear of being caught. Whether you question it or not is irrelevant. If being old-fashioned for a woman means not being a slut, then old-fashioned will always be in style when men look for a mate to settle down with. There is nothing psychologically wrong with us nor do we need help. Men choose what qualities are appealing in choosing who to commit to what you or anyone else thinks should matter has about zero influence on what men choose, if women want to get married someday the have be what a man wants to marry. Even though maybe I shouldnt call them ignorant since I dont know them but in my opinion everyone is ignorant in some type of way. Xper 5 Age: 23. If they have changed and you feel some sort of potential, give them a chance. In my opinion that would be the better approach that can produce better results. Society many times likes to just default to the answer on the surface, rather than go deeper to fully understand what truly is causing a problem or disconnect. Oh yes it does. Yeah so shut up lol. This is not the ideal number, but the threshold number as to how But once you get into the booty call territory, or some other lines of just having sex with men because it is satisfying makes men look at you cynically. may get a good friend out of getting to know that person. I agree we should be honest, but when society creates such negative dialogue about women who have taken this route, it makes it harder be open and honest about it. A womans body is different. However, there can be consequences I feel hurt by the fact that she was promiscuous and so casual. Fuckboys should marry women who slept around and end up opening the relationship when they will inevitably reach the point where they realize one dick or one vagina is no longer enough. It has been made apart of this life, but not apart of eternal life..We have one teacher here that JESUS and HE knows more about the subject than you do.In The Book of Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers GOD will judge. We women are more than what is between our legs. This is, of course, regarding those who have been honest enough to disclose details about their past. Keep in mind, you have no money in your 20s. I have self-esteem. Nice try though. Im always a lady first and what I do behind close doors doesnt define who I am as a person. This is why men are actually attracted to more pure women. During this time in my life I was searching for love but going about it in the wrong way. Wow this has just help me so much. Sex doesnt hurt for me anymore, and its great! Whats the point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners??? If any guy called me names like a whore or uses my past as a deal breaker I dont ever wonder what I missed out on, I know the answer is not much! I started at 18, averaged 2.78 a year. You have more preconceptions than aporcupinehas quills. I am one who believes people can evolve and they can change. I dont think so. enjoy has lead to a downward spiral in the family, out of control divorce would sleep with them while single. Who you decide to lay down with and the things that you and them both have going on matters more than numbers. for adults. and she does not like sex and has never had an orgasm. Its ups and downs. You know why it's toxic. There are women who have been with very few men and still experience the same issues. You sir, are that stupid guy in this instance. While media still shames yet sells women. She claimed that her promiscuity was in the past, but later on I found out it was still in her present. 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